Offline Consumption of Humor Product Declines

Recent studies regarding the effects of THE CORPORATION's Internet ® brand worldwide network on consumers of humor product were released this week. The major finding shows that 67% of consumers are now getting their humor product online, while 26% still prefer to frequent local branches of THE CORPORATION for their humor. The remaining 7% of consumers admit either lacking a sense of humor or being adequately entertained by modern politics.

As online consumption of humor product has increased, THE CORPORATION has been forced to shut down thousands of branches, including the South Bend, Indiana branch pictured at left, above. Those consumers who have for decades enjoyed "ordering up some laughter with a side of giggles" at their local branch have been dissappointed but not totally surprised by the rising online trend.

"The demise of the local branches is inevitable," says THE CORPORATION Head of Online Development, Edward Talbot, pictured at right, above. "Distribution of product online is much cheaper and more efficient than the outdated branch system. Everyone with a computer is now able to have their own branch right in their own home. And that allows us access to whatever resides on that computer. Using our proprietary VistaSweep software, we will be able to retrieve a consumer's financial, personal and entertainment habits and, in turn, develop humor product that better suits their personal tastes or fetishes."