Young Worker Killed by 10-Ton Web Page Proofing Machine
Those of you working in our Hartford office already know Ed McAllister.
our Northeast Humor Development V.P. is pictured at left with his wife
Judy and children (from left) Ed Junior, Ned, Jed, Fred, Penelope and
Tragedy struck last week as Linus attempted to dislodge a jammed web
page from atop the Vista-Web 3000, our modern web page proofing system,
shown at right, above. Linus' frail bones and skull were no match for
the machine's powerful gears and rollers, and he was killed instantly. A
funeral service was held this last Sunday.
While THE CORPORATION has no liablility for the safety of our
legions of underage workers, we regret this loss, and commend the
McAllister family for their dedication to THE CORPORATION during
this hard time. We have given little Jed, Linus' replacement, a brand
new whistle and adequate training so that he may alert his superiors if
trouble should arise, in the event that the efficient production of
humor product is again jeopardized.