[the computer network formerly known as the WORLD WIDE WEB]

Redmond, Washington - With the hope of turning online users toward their own online service, the Microsoft Network (MSN), Microsoft Corporation today announced the purchase of the online network of computers and telephone lines formerly known as WWW (the World Wide Web) and that the network had been officially renamed

Chairman and CEO of Microsoft, Bill Gates, said today that the purchase of the former WWW was an important and necessary step for the software manufacturer. "Content is where I expect much of the real money will be made on the internet. MSN may not provide the best content, comparatively speaking, but the thought of people going somewhere else besides MSN to get it frightens me. I simply need to make more money off of this." The actual purchase price and number of parties involved has not been disclosed.

Gates went on to announce that while much of the commercial content on the WWW will be assimilated into MSN, the remaining parts of the web will occupy a small section of MSN and be called

"Since much of the WWW represents unique and creative endeavors by many talented people," Gates said, "we wanted to take a unique and creative approach to the identity of this new section of MSN. The success of the BOB icon prompted us to go with a similar visually-based approach." Critics of Gates question his motives. "I see the move as an attempt to destroy the WWW as we know it" says 19-year-old Jake Rawlings from Davis, California, whose personal home page was seeing up to 7 hits per week prior to the buyout. "They haven't asked me to continue to do my site. I hope they get somebody good to take over."

The media has also reacted with uncertainty to the WWW's name change. "The WWW has been one of the easier 'buzz' terms to type out in recent years" says Carl Price, Senior Technology Editor at The New York Times. "This icon thing sort of complicates things. I would have to get the Times' graphics department to manufacture it somehow before i can even write a story about the computer network formerly known as the WWW. That's going to take some time." Alex Trebek, host of Jepordy has similar concerns. "There will be confusion" says Trebek. "People will click on the symbol used in the early 12th century by the Northern Dhondenian peoples as the symbol for sodemy expecting to get certain information. When Marsha's Cat Page comes up, they will not understand."

Immediately following the Microsoft statement, Apple Computer announced that it would be shipping future Apple keyboards with a

key featured prominently between the C and V keys. When asked to explain the decision, Apple Hardwre Development Consultant Dean Parish responded quickly. "Our 1996 business plan calls for expansion into other markets besides hardware. Now, with the simple addition of a single key, we're in the content business, too."

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