Effective communication is the
backbone of THE CORPORATION.
Address your memo of any topic to
The board will read it, censor its
contents and react appropriately.
TO: All Employees
FROM: F. Walter Ellison, Jr., C.E.O.
RE: Recent Merger
After a long absence from the corporate and humor product arena, THE CORPORATION
returns this week to the global spotlight with a new Website design and some new
humor product. Now that we have stabilized our massive infrastructure of servers in
our Hartford, CT-based main campus, and have settled the long 3-year strike involving
the ANIMATED GIF BUILDERS UNION, Local 33854, we plan on updating our Website and its
content more frequently than we have in the past. We expect you to work hard to make
us more profitable and powerful than ever.
In addition, the recent merger between AOL, Time-Warner and Lucasfilm Ltd. (a small
subsidiary of THE CORPORATION) should have little effect on you or your work. However,
any employee sending IMs or watching AVIs of old Looney Toons will be immediately
fired. Incoming e-mail messages to you will also now be accompanied with a loud and
friendly "You'za Got Mail!" by our new property, Jar Jar Binks. I like Jar Jar.
He's a funny fellow. So, anyone turning down the volume on this incoming mail
greeting will be immediately fired.
Welcome to THE CORPORATION's new millenium. Please address any concerns to me at