Effective communication is the
backbone of THE CORPORATION.
Address your memo of any topic to
The board will read it, censor its
contents and react appropriately.
TO: All Employees
RE: Old Bob
We have recently gotten word that many consumers have gotten messages from
THE CORPORATION like the one below from someone named "Old Bob". If any
employee has any information regarding who might be writing and sending
these unauthorized messages, please contact email@example.com:
Thank you for your inquiry regarding how THE CORPORATION got started.
Well, about 4 years ago, me and Little Jake (that's my cat) were living in an old
deserted gas station in Midland, Missouri when Little Jake goes "meow" which was
up until then pretty normal for Little Jake. Then, all of a sudden, Little Jake's
meows turned into words and he started telling me how we could strike it rich if
we just worked real hard and published a humorous newspaper called
THE CORPORATION, which would make fun of everything including corporate life.
We started out doing that for the first 3 years. Little Jake would run the printing
press while I went out and sold advertising. I was a real Willy Loman back in them
days. Then, one day, a car pulled up to the gas station thinking it was still open.
I told the driver, a dorky-looking guy with glasses like my cousin Walter wears,
that there was no gas. I told him to keep going about 40 miles to Jeb's station and
that he could get gas there. I gave him a copy of THE CORPORATION, which he
appreciated, and he drove off. Well, that man was so powerful and had so many
lawyers and creative types that he went ahead and started doing THE CORPORATION
online and stripped me of all my rights and everything Little Jake and I worked so
hard for. But he did give me and Little Jake a place to squat, and he lets me write
letters like this to kind folks like you that write in.
So, thank you for writing. It makes me happy to know that people like you get
pleasure from THE CORPORATION, even though my own heart and sense of humor
wilted away long ago.
Little Jake says thank you, too. He's on his back doped up on thinner fumes right now.