Ed Bradley:

Ed was one of our lowlier employees at THE CORPORATION. Although THE CORPORATION prides itself in taking care of it's employees, Ed's living conditions were less than ideal. A single father, Ed could barely support himself and his daughter. He worked twenty hours a day and, even if he had time, he realized that because of his completely inappropriate farting and poor conversation skills he had no hope whatsoever of finding a wife and mother for his little girl. Women avoided him like a bar Men's Room.

Now however, thanks to THE CORPORATION's mention in www.suck.com, Ed is a changed man.

First of all, Ed got promoted to the highly respected Propaganda Division with a very nice raise in salary which allowed Ed to move out of the hole he was living in and into a luxury condo in THE CORPORATION's Employee Live/Work Community.
Ed finds that since the mention in www.suck.com he is much more athletic. He feels physically stronger and faster and now moves in between meetings with the style and grace of a trained athlete.


More importantly, because of his demonstrated prowess in sucking-up, Ed has gained the love and respect of women everywhere who know that they will get all the pandering and obsequious fawning that they will ever need.

Way to go Ed! Raaowwrrr!