Recently two HTML assembly-line workers in our San Francisco plant managed to take a little time out of their busy day to suck up to some non-company personnel for the sole purpose of spreading quality comedy product throughout the world. This act of completely blind devotion to THE CORPORATION manifested itself in a mention in on 3/21/96. These two employees' self-less actions HAVE been noticed by Upper Management and HAVE been rewarded.

Here in THE CORPORATION. sucking up DOES PAY. Here's how it changed these two faithful employees' lives forever.

In order to further celebrate the spirit of sucking-up, kissing ass, brown-nose-ing, and general obsequious brainwashed behavior, THE CORPORATION is having a contest in order to generate propaganda.

In twenty five pages (or less if you think you can), describe why THE CORPORATION is so fearfully, awe-inspiringly fabulous. If you include a mailing address and you are noticed by Upper Management... you may receive a PRIZE (not that being noticed by upper management isn't prize enough!) The most edifying responses will be published on THE CORPORATION's fabulous and expansive World Wide Web brand Home Page.

How good are you? Send your attempts to impress Upper Management to: